My Missing Piece
by SantittanyForever
Summary: Santana has been a wreck ever since she lost Brittany, the love of her life. But, with the help of her friends, and some unexpected guidance along the way, can she finally find the strength to move on and be happy, like Brittany would've wanted?
1. Chapter 1

**This story is pure angst. I don't know what possessed me to write something so damn sad, but I did it and here it is. It actually hurt me a bit to write something like this, I had to take a moment and cry once I had finished this first chapter. Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoy it, even though it is cripplingly depressing. xD**

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Try as she might, Santana still couldn't quell the familiar feeling of despair that had begun building within her. She felt it clawing up her throat, threatening to burst out and send her over the edge. Even after all these years, she still felt it as violently, the wounds still seemed so raw, so open. Her friends thought she would have healed by now; most people probably would have. But Santana wasn't like most people. She held onto things, held onto people. She had always held on to one person in particular. And now that person was gone. And no one could do anything to change that.

She shook her head and blinked rapidly, trying to escape the dazed reverie she had unwittingly slipped into. Quinn would be there any minute, so she had to make sure she was ready to go.

She had her coat and her keys, and was just preparing to step outside to wait for Quinn when she noticed something. She rushed back inside, searching frantically. Her breathing became short and laboured, sharp breaths whooshing in and out at a rapid pace, not long enough for her to really take in any oxygen. Her eyes were wide, darting around anxiously. She began tossing things aside recklessly, hell-bent on discovering what she needed.

She was so wrapped up in her hysteria, that she didn't hear the sound of the door swinging open, which she had forgotten to close amidst her crazed state. It was only when she spun to race up the stairs and collided into someone with a loud "Oomph!" that she took notice of the presence of another person in the room.

"Quinn! Oh god, I'm sorry!"

"Santana, it's fine. Just calm down honey! What's the matter?" Quinn questioned, looking perplexed and concerned.

"The bracelet. I can't find the bracelet Britt gave me on the last day of high school. I promised her I would always wear it, and I had it on this morning, I swear I did, but it must have fallen off, and now I can't find it, and… and…"

Santana then broke down, collapsing into heaving sobs, hunched over on her knees. Quinn rushed over to the broken girl, wrapping her arms around her and rocking her gently.

"San, honey, it's fine. I'm sure it's around here somewhere."

"But I, I have to find it! I can't go to her… her grave…" Santana choked on the word, bile rising in her throat, still unable to picture her Britt lying underground, not moving, not breathing. Not living. "I can't go to her grave without it! It'll be like, not having a part of her with me. AND I CAN'T BE LIKE THAT! I just can't do it Quinn!"

Santana began wailing once again, her voice broken and strained. Everything was building up within her; she could feel it, like a storm brewing. She knew there was going to be trouble once her walls broke down and the storm hit.

She was shivering, overcome with fear and anguish. Everything seemed hopeless ever since she lost Brittany. Even now, three years later, it still felt as though it had happened yesterday.

If only Brittany had come with her to Rachel and Finn's wedding.

If only she hadn't decided to go with Quinn to make sure she knew how to get to the chapel.

If only Quinn had kept her eyes on the road instead of replying to Rachel's text.

If only that truck hadn't smashed into the car, leaving Quinn in a wheelchair and leaving Brittany to die, helpless and alone.

If only. If only. If only.

There were a lot of 'if only's' in Santana's life nowadays. All of which involved Brittany.

If Santana thought about it really hard, she could still imagine Brittany's touch. Her hand trailing tenderly down her arm; her fingers laced with her own; her lips, gently caressing Santana's, breathing a trail of hot fire down her neck; her arms wrapped securely around her, making her feel safe and loved.

Her trance was interrupted by Quinn softly stroking her hair, whispering gently,

"Santana? San, if we want to get there before the cemetery closes, we have to go now. You want to see her, don't you?"

Santana nodded woodenly, her face devoid of any emotion.

"Come on then honey. Rachel's waiting in the car to drive us there."

She stood up, hooking her hands under Santana's frail shoulders and pulling her up carefully. Santana's weight had dropped dramatically ever since it happened; it wasn't that she had an eating disorder, she just felt as though the void within her couldn't be filled by something as superficial as food, and so didn't feel the need to eat. This worried her friends, of course, but no amount of persuading, haggling, or begging could convince Santana to eat anything.

The Latina walked over and stood in front of the full-length mirror that hung in her living room, attempting to fix her make-up; streaks of mascara were lashed across her cheeks, each dash sharp and distinct; a few tears had mixed with her eyeliner, dripping onto her full lips, the taste acrid and sour. She sniffled, narrowing her eyes with disgust at the pathetic sight of herself. Quinn winced sympathetically, knowing that Santana was mentally scolding herself in the most reproachful way. It was a gruelling habit the brunette had been doing a lot of lately, and nothing Quinn or Rachel did seemed to be able to stop it.

"Here. Let me do that." Quinn soothed, walking over to Santana, feeling a lump form in her throat at the obvious distress the girl was under. She reached into her bag, withdrawing a clean tissue, and began dabbing Santana's tan cheeks, wiping away the menacing black lines that signified her agonising grief. She then took out the ruby red lipstick from her purse, which she always carried in case it was needed. She lightly applied a small amount onto Santana's lips, smiling a little.

"Beautiful, as always." Quinn murmured, before embracing Santana lovingly. Quinn felt Santana shake as she held her close, and her heart continued to break for the shattered girl who used to be so strong. The Santana she knew and loved was gone, replaced with a new Santana, one who stayed in bed for days on end, not wanting to eat, not even wanting to move. The only thing she wanted was to have her Brittany back in her arms; alas, that was the one thing that was utterly impossible.

Quinn then pulled back, making her way towards the front door. She paused suddenly, however, noticing something sparkle on the table near the front door.

"Hey San? Is that your bracelet?"

Santana broke away from Quinn's loving grasp and raced over to the table, knocking over a vase in her haste.

"Yes! Oh my gosh, thank you Quinn!"

Santana threw her arms around Quinn gratefully, and Quinn was ecstatic to see the tiniest hint of a smile gracing Santana's striking features.

"Come on San. Let's get going. Rachel's going to think you've kidnapped me." Quinn chuckled.

"Well, we wouldn't want that now, would we? We all know how jealous Miss Berry can get when it comes to her woman."

Santana offered Quinn a small wry smile, which the blonde gladly accepted with a grin of her own.

They both then walked out of the front door, Quinn shutting it firmly behind her. Santana climbed into the back seat of the humming Mini, which had been a birthday present for Rachel from her dads last year. Rachel greeted Santana with a timid smile, while Santana gave her a curt nod. While they had began to branch out to each other towards the end of senior year, losing the only person she'd ever loved had made Santana retreat even further from others around her. So, apart from Quinn, she had practically shut out everyone else from her life over the past three years, including Rachel. However, the diva did see slightly more of Santana than anyone else, as she was now in a relationship with and living with Quinn, and Santana was at their house majority of the time because she hated being alone with her own thoughts.

Rachel put the car into gear as Quinn strapped herself into the front passenger seat, reaching over and taking her girlfriend's hand. Rachel smiled, meeting Quinn's tearful gaze, kissing her hand tenderly. Their yearly visits to Brittany's grave on the anniversary of her death were always emotional, and they were always grateful to have each other to help them through the difficult time. Santana, however, had no one, and that just made everything even harder as it took its toll on her already delicate emotional state.

They made their way to the cemetery on the other side of town, silence reverberating around the car, like a thick, unyielding cloud. Rachel and Quinn had their hands linked over the centre console, while Santana stared bleakly out of the window and tried, to no avail, to stop the cascade of tears that flowed relentlessly down her cheeks.

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**So, what do you guys think about this story so far? Initially it was going to be one-shot, but there was too much to include so I decided to make it into a multi-chapter fic. So yeah, let me know what you thought of this first chapter! **

**Chapter 2 will be along ASAP! ^^ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Rating has been changed to M, for mature language in this chapter.**

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Rachel swung into the cemetery car park and easily found a parking spot, then flung open her door and raced around to open the door for Quinn. The blonde smiled lovingly at her girlfriend, flattered by the unexpected and thoughtful gesture.

"Just makes you appreciate what you have, doesn't it?" Rachel murmured, watching Santana drag her emotionally crippled and physically unstable form up from where she was slumped in the back of the car.

"Mhhm." Quinn replied, her own voice sounding distant as Santana's obvious misery bombarded her vision until it felt as though she was suffocating. If this was how **she** felt, she couldn't imagine how Santana was feeling. Her pity for the girl increased tenfold, as she realised she would never even be able to begin to imagine the amount of suffering her best friend was experiencing at the loss of her one true love. This made Quinn take a deep breath and steel herself, as she realised that her friend needed her to be strong; so she decided that she would be exactly that, be strong for Santana, not thinking about herself or how she was feeling, for that wasn't important in this moment in time. The only thing that mattered to Quinn was helping Santana get back on her feet, and maybe even help her to move on and start a new life, a happier life.

"Santana? Are you okay? Do you need help?" Rachel queried, racing over to the Latina, who seemed to be struggling with disentangling herself from her seatbelt, which had twisted into an ugly snarl around her tiny abdomen.

"I'm fine." barked Santana brusquely. She raised her eyes briefly to Quinn, wincing apologetically in a silent request for forgiveness, before focusing back on her current problem, the seatbelt from hell. Quinn knew Santana didn't mean to be so offhand with people; it was just her way of keeping everyone at arm's length, to prevent them from being able to hurt her or seeing her in such a vulnerable state. There was only ever one person who was really allowed to see that side of Santana, and that person was Brittany.

Quinn then walked slowly back over to the car, resting her hands gently atop Santana's, which were trembling and fumbling with the seatbelt clasp. Santana looked up to meet Quinn's firm yet caring gaze, and dropped her hands, allowing Quinn to unravel the seatbelt for her and eventually detach it from Santana's thin frame. The brunette whispered a quiet "Thank you" before stepping out of the car and closing the door behind her, the slam echoing around the wide, open space, an air of finality surrounding them, as if to signify that they were now at a place where lives had come to an end.

All three girls stood still for a moment, their eyes surveying the vast stretch of green that lay ahead of them, speckled with grey, black, and white gravestones. Some were the common square shape, while others were more extravagant, in the shape of a cross, or, in some extreme cases, a whole shrine devoted to a beloved family member from their grieving loved ones.

Quinn then took the first step, one hand intertwined with Rachel's while the other was clasped firmly in Santana's trembling fist. The Latina could feel herself becoming more worked up the closer they got to… her. She couldn't bring herself to think the words 'Brittany's grave'; the mere idea of the woman she loved lying motionless in a wooden box was enough to cause her to hyperventilate.

She forced herself to calm down, trying to stop the distressing thoughts that had begun to cloud her frantic mind, before she had a complete meltdown. Panic attacks were now a common occurrence for Santana, and they could be set off at any time, by any thoughts regarding Brittany or how lost Santana felt without her. One of the worst episodes Santana had had was during a dream one night, a few months after the accident...

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_Santana had been tossing and turning for hours, and so decided to go to Quinn and Rachel's to try and get some sleep there. She showed up on their doorstep, hair straggly and unkempt, her dressing gown hanging loosely around her bony shoulders. Quinn had opened the door, eyes squinted sleepily, but soon woke up when she realised who was at her door. She had ushered Santana inside immediately, making up a bed for her on the sofa, before kissing her on the forehead with a muttered "Goodnight" and making her way back upstairs to where Rachel was waiting anxiously in bed. The couple quickly fell back asleep, but were soon aroused from their slumber once again, however, when a shrill cry pierced the comfortable silence that had settled over the house. Quinn leapt out of bed, eyes wide, heart pounding, and raced down the stairs, quickly followed by a frightened Rachel. They sped into the living room to find Santana curled into a ball in the corner of the sofa, shaking violently, with her head hidden in her arms, which were curled around her body, as if to protect her from some invisible demon. _

"_Santana! What's wrong?"_

"_It's Brittany. I… she was there, with me, in my dream. We… we were driving along, she was taking me out for a picnic. A truck… the driver didn't see us, he smashed into the driver's side. She… she was thrown forwards, through the windshield. She… she landed on the road in front of me, and I… I was stuck in my seat. I couldn't move, I... I just had to sit there and watch her die."_

_Santana then choked, sobbing violently, shivering with fear. _

_Quinn had sat up with her for the rest of the night, holding her closely, rubbing her back to soothe her. Rachel was perched on the armchair across the room, nodding off every so often and then painstakingly wrenching herself awake, until her eyelids became too heavy and she dozed off, head resting awkwardly on the back of the chair, arms splayed out to the sides. _

_The next morning, Santana still hadn't slept, although Quinn had at some point fallen asleep with her head resting on Santana's shoulder, her arm still looped around the brunette's petite waist. The Latina stood up carefully, trying not to disturb Quinn. But the blonde was disturbed by Santana's movements, and then when she heard the rustle of Santana pulling her dressing gown back on, she stirred lazily, blinking slowly. _

"_San. Wh-where are you going?" she yawned sleepily._

"_Home." replied Santana._

"_Oh. You going to be okay by yourself?"_

"_Yeah. I'll be fine." She paused at the door, her hand resting on the handle. "Thanks for staying with me last night Quinn. And tell Rachel too, y'know... thanks."_

"_No problem. I'm always here. You know that."_

_And with that, Santana turned and left, closing the door behind her with a soft click._

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"San?"

Santana hadn't realised that she had been frozen, occupied by the memories swirling around her disorientated mind. She shook her head daintily, clearing her throat and trying to adopt a nonchalant attitude.

"I'm fine."

Quinn puckered her lips, not saying anything, although her raised eyebrow and incredulous expression said that she didn't believe a word Santana had said.

"Umm, s-sorry to interrupt, but if we want to get there in time, w-we have to get moving." Rachel stammered nervously, afraid of any harsh retaliation from Santana.

But Santana merely nodded, too exhausted to lash out at the diminutive diva. Quinn smiled gratefully at Santana, thankful that she hadn't behaved disrespectfully towards her girlfriend this time, but Santana didn't respond, too focused on the path she was now treading, towards a specific gravestone that she had become very familiar with over the past three years.

Quinn and Rachel only visited Brittany's grave a few times a year – one of those times of course being with Santana on the anniversary of Brittany's death. Santana, however, was such a frequent visitor to the graveyard that she was on a first-name basis with the groundskeeper. She attempted to visit at least three times a month, each time bringing fresh flowers to decorate the grave with, and fresh tears for the loss of her soul mate.

She still hadn't forgiven the cruel hand of Fate that had snatched away the only perfect thing in her life. Brittany had been there for her, through thick and thin; it was why she had sung Constant Craving to her all those years ago in Glee club, as a way of expressing just how much she needed Brittany by her side.

And now she was gone.

Santana vaguely registered the arrival of Quinn and Rachel on either side of her as they caught up with her, as Quinn gently held onto her arm for support.

"You okay?" murmured the blonde worriedly.

Santana nodded shakily, dropping to her knees in front of the speckled granite gravestone, which was situated to the west of the graveyard.

It was adorned with swirling patters of purple, interwoven with beautiful white roses. Amidst the stunning colours were printed three simple sentences, which read:

_Here lies Brittany S Pierce._

_Daughter, sister, girlfriend. _

_Taken too young, but will forever live on in our hearts._

Santana's breath caught in her throat and she could feel hot, stinging tears welling up in her eyes, as she ran her fingers numbly across the word 'girlfriend'.

"Britt?" she whispered, her voice hoarse and broken. "Brittany? Can you hear me? I... I wish you were here with me right now. I miss you so much." She paused, taking in a deep breath, before continuing, "You know, it's funny. The one person who would know how to make me feel better right now is you, yet... you're not here anymore. It still seems so surreal, so... unimaginable. A life without you is a life not worth living. Yet here I am. Talking to... to a block of stone, like you can actually hear me." Santana scoffed, disgusted. Disgusted that someone as pure, as kind, as innocent as Brittany had their life stolen from them, yet she was allowed to live on, pining for her love that she would never get back.

Meanwhile, Quinn and Rachel surveyed the scene unfolding before them, standing a few metres behind Santana, hands linked tightly. Tears fell delicately down both girls' faces, but they tried to remain calm and composed; Santana needed them, now more than ever. This day always affected Santana more noticeably than any other; she would retreat into her room, not leaving for days, refusing to speak to anyone.

However, although they could see the distraught brunette crouched in front of the grave, they couldn't hear the words being spoken by Santana's hunched form, and so could not have anticipated what happened next.

Santana rose suddenly to her feet, her eyes blazing with anger and despair.

"IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR! WHY WAS SHE TAKEN FROM ME?" Santana's chest was heaving, tears falling haphazardly down her tan cheeks. "She was the kindest, sweetest, happiest, most thoughtful person I ever met! And THIS is what she gets? An early grave? Being taken away from the people she cares about? Not being able to experience graduation? Not being able to get married, have kids, grow old with me? HOW IS THAT FAIR? I was going to ask her to marry me this year! I had it all planned, I was going to take her to Breadstix, then take her back to mine, then put out some candles, have some music playing, then ask her to do me the honour of spending the rest of her life with me. But now, I can't even do that, because it's all gone! **IT'S GONE**!"

By this time, Quinn had rushed to her side, grabbing Santana's arms firmly in an attempt to restrain her. But Santana lashed out wildly, completely out of control, and accidentally struck Quinn on the side of her face. The blonde froze for a second, staring at Santana in shock. The Latina looked horrified, her face ashen and mortified. She then collapsed, crying pitifully; the sound cutting right through Quinn's burst of anger as she rushed to wrap her arms around the trembling girl.

"Shhh. It's okay San, it's okay."

"N-no, it's not. I'm sorry Quinn. I'm so sorry. I d-didn't mean to hit you, I just got... overwhelmed. It's just t-too hard. Life without her... I don't think I can do it anymore..."

"Don't talk like that!" Quinn said, maybe a little too sharply, for Santana glanced up at her fearfully, her forehead creased with guilt. "I mean, we've already lost Britt. I couldn't stand losing you too. We care about you too much." Quinn amended, in a softer voice.

"I second that." said Rachel quietly, walking over to stand next to Santana. She hesitantly reached out to gently rub Santana's quivering hand, but instead of recoiling like she normally would, the Latina gladly accepted Rachel's comforting touch, gripping onto her hand tightly, much to the shorter brunette's surprise.

"Than you. To both of you. For being here with me, and for being there to put me back together every time I've fallen apart over the last three years. You... you don't know how much that means to me."

Santana's voice was thick with emotion, and first Quinn then Rachel pulled her in for a hug, embracing her warmly.

Santana then turned to face Rachel, her face serious and honest.

"And Rachel, even after I've behaved like a complete bitch towards you for the best part of three years..."

"Not counting all those years you were mean to her in high school." Quinn interrupted, earning a well-deserved bitch glare from Santana.

"Anyway, as I was saying, I've been awful to you Rachel, yet you've stood by me, and, what I think is even more amazing, is that you've stood by Quinn too. Every time she had to stay with me, look after me, pull me back together, you were right there, making sure SHE was okay. I think... no, I KNOW that Britts would've... she would've been so proud of you. Of both of you."

The couple smiled, flattered by Santana's sincere, honest words.

"Well San, you know I'm always here for you. We both are." Quinn smiled, taking Santana's hand firmly in hers, while Rachel looped her arm through the crook of Santana's.

They then began walking back towards the car, and even managed to elicit the tiniest of giggles from Santana when Rachel stumbled clumsily over a large rock that was hidden by a clump of grass at her feet. They then all resumed their previous spots once they were in the car; Rachel in the driver's seat, Quinn in the passenger seat, and Santana in the back.

The girls could tell that Santana's brief moment of happiness was already beginning to wear off; the after-effects of visiting Brittany's grave were beginning to kick in, as the Latina slumped back, cocooning herself in her jacket, wrapping it securely around herself as she began to quiver, her eyes glazing over. This gave Rachel an idea.

"Hey, San?" she called, slightly tentatively. "Umm, would you like to sit up front, with me? I'm sure Quinn wouldn't mind scooting to the back, would you Quinn?"

"No, not at all." she said pleasantly.

Santana nodded slightly, climbing out of the back of the car and into the empty seat awaiting her. Rachel beamed at her, delighted that she had agreed. Santana couldn't help but to smile back, the joy on Rachel's face was so real and touching.

Rachel then turned the key in the ignition, put the car in gear, and pulled out of the parking lot. She turned the radio on, to alleviate the tense silence circulating around the car, but froze when a familiar tune began trickling out of the speakers. It was Songbird, by Fleetwood Mac, which they all knew had been a particular favourite of Brittany's ever since Santana had sung it to her for 'Rumours' week in Glee club.

Rachel's face dropped, as Quinn began muttering "No, no, no" to herself.

"Oh my gosh, Santana, I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I should've thought-"

"No, Rachel, it's fine."

Both Rachel and Quinn stared at Santana in shock, Rachel just about remembering to keep her eyes on the road.

"Really?" questioned Rachel, worried that Santana was just saying that to make her feel better.

"Really." Santana offered her a small, albeit reassuring smile. "I like listening to that, sometimes. It... reminds me of her, but in a good way. It reminds me of when we were together. Happy and in love."

Santana sat back, closing her eyes and losing herself in the sheer beauty and simplicity of the music. Rachel and Quinn smiled at each other, and they all sat in comfortable silence on the car ride home, simply enjoying the melodic sound of the radio and feeling slightly more at ease than any of them had for a very long time.

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**Chapter 3 will be along soon! In the meantime, let me know what you guys thought of this chapter ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed/alerted/favourited/subscribed to this fic so far; you all rock more than Brittany at Prom dancing to Dinosaur! :D**

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Santana was roused from her sleep by a faint humming sound, resonating around her room and seeping into her mind, which was still half-clouded with sleep. She blinked groggily, attempting to clear her head, and sat up slowly, yawning and stretching her arms above her head, her loose tank top riding up to reveal her slender, tan abdomen.

She turned to switch on the lamp which sat on her bedside table, but froze when she noticed a strange shimmering light at the foot of her bed. Her forehead creased in confusion and she squinted closely, trying to figure out what it was. Just as she was about to conclude that it was simply a figment of her imagination, a product of the restless and broken sleep she had experience last night, the light began to morph into a shape. It stretched upwards, becoming elongated, until it stood at well over five feet tall. It then began to flicker, as Santana noticed it was becoming more solid, and colours began sprouting up, filling in different areas. A splash of blue here, a splash of green there. And the strangest thing that Santana noticed was that the top had been coloured a shade that almost resembled… but no, that was impossible. Although Santana almost couldn't believe it, it was there; right in front of her eyes… the top of the mysterious light had taken on the colour that was practically identical to the colour that Brittany's hair had been.

Santana gasped, taken aback by this sudden realisation. She groped blindly to her left, trying to grab her phone and call Quinn, but she accidentally knocked it to the floor in her panic. She cried out in frustration, backing up against the headboard and preparing to sprint towards the door and get away from the strange and unsettling entity that had presented itself to her. She tensed, ready to spring up and off the bed, but was stopped when a soft whisper brushed past her ear, chilling her to her very core.

"_Santana."_

She stilled, swallowing audibly, as goose bumps rose up along her arms, her hair standing on end as chills ran down her spine. She opened her mouth to scream, yell, anything to attract attention from someone so they could get her away from this chilling spirit that had invaded her room. But, just as she was about to shout for help, she felt an overwhelming sense of calm envelop her. She exhaled deeply, suddenly feeling content and happy, but a niggling suspicion rose at the back of her mind amidst the feeling of bliss that had suddenly descended upon her. She closed her eyes, revelling in the unfamiliar but welcome sensation of ecstasy she was feeling.

She then heard the voice again, caressing her ear as faintly as a spring breeze.

"_Don't be afraid. Open your eyes."_

Santana took another deep breath, then opened her eyes.

She was not prepared for the sight she was greeted with.

For there, at the foot of bed, stood… Brittany.

Brittany. She was there. In her room. Talking to her. Standing there, clear as day, in her favourite pair of blue jeans and her green "I Heart Ducks" t-shirt, the outfit she had been wearing the day she died, her beautiful blonde hair cascading down around her face, soft pale tendrils, while her mouth was stretched into a warm, loving smile.

Santana felt her chest tighten as her heart began to beat disconnectedly, her breath coming out in short, sharp puffs of air.

"But… thi- this is impossible. I mean, you're dead! I… I saw you… lying in a coffin at your funeral, you… you've been gone for three years! How…."

Santana's words trailed off and her brain turned to mush as she lost all ability to form a coherent sentence.

'Brittany' giggled adorably, then spoke in a soft, alluring voice.

"_You're right. The real Brittany did die three years ago. I, however, am her ghost."_

Santana could do nothing but stare in shock at 'ghost Brittany', mouth agape, moving wordlessly, stunned into silence.

"_You're probably wondering what on Earth is going on."_

Santana nodded mutely, her throat thick with emotion and unanswered questions.

"_Well, I've been watching over you ever since I passed over into the metaphysical realm three years ago. Almost like a guardian angel, if you wish. I've been making sure you didn't do anything reckless; I know you've had a difficult time over the past few years."_

Her voice was gentle, sympathetic, and then she glided across the floor, levitating onto the bed and coming to a graceful halt in front of Santana, sitting opposite the startled Latina, legs crossed casually in front of her. Santana stared, still unable to fully comprehend what she was seeing. She gulped, trying to force down the hard lump that had formed in her throat and quell the ache that had begun in her heart at the sudden and astonishing reappearance of her lost love.

"But… but… I don't… I mean, how…" Santana stammered, her eyes filling with tears of pain, confusion, and love.

"_Even though you didn't know it, I've been with you all along. Haven't you ever noticed any strange occurrences that have happened, anything out of the ordinary?"_

Santana mulled this over, chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. Then, a particularly confusing memory that had continued to plague her over the past few years flashed through her mind…

* * *

_She was sitting in her room, trying to study for a test she had at college the next day. Her thoughts, however, were an incoherent jumble, and kept jumping back and forth between moments before and after Brittany's death._

_She glanced over at the picture that always sat on her bedside table; it was her and Brittany in their Cheerio's uniforms, hugging and grinning. She felt a tear slide despondently down her cheek, as she stared at the photo, willing it to come to life so she could have her girlfriend back in her arms. _

_Then, it happened. It was as quick as a wink, but she saw it. _

_The Brittany in the photo smiled at her. Not in the frozen, glassy way normally seen in photographs. No, she actually moved her mouth upwards and smiled. It only lasted a second, but Santana's breath hitched and her eyes remained glued to the photo for hours after that, just hoping for another glimpse, another sign, anything to show her that what she'd seen was real and that it wasn't just a figment of her imagination._

* * *

Santana gasped as she recalled that day, raising her eyes in question to the ghost who was now perched on her bed in front of her.

"Wait. All of those weird things… you caused them?"

Brittany nodded at Santana knowingly.

Brittany then titled her head to the side, a curious smile flitting across her face while her piercing blue eyes were focused entirely on Santana.

"_Aren't you wondering why I've presented myself to you now, when I've been with you all this time, unbeknownst to you?"_

Santana nodded meekly, eyes as wide as saucers, still trying to decipher whether this was real or if it was all a very vivid dream that she would awaken from any minute now.

"_Well, in the afterlife, we guardian angels all have jobs to fulfill. As you would imagine, our jobs are to look out for our closest loved ones after we have passed and make sure they are okay, to ensure that they're recovering and to just keep an eye on them. I've been watching you for the past three years now, and anyone else would have begun to move on by this point and start to come to terms with the departure of their beloved. But not you. You were different. You held on, never faltering in your quest to remember me in your heart."_

Santana gazed at Brittany in shock, taken aback by her solemn words. The other-worldly spirit noticed this and chuckled lightly.

"_I see you are a little surprised by my sudden development in vocabulary. It seems that we angels have an uncanny ability to sound well-educated, regardless of our former level of intelligence in our previous life. I could, however, revert back to how I used to sound, if that would make you more comfortable?"_

Santana nodded once again, whispering a quiet "Yes please" that was just about audible to Brittany's heightened sense of hearing.

"_Okay, here we go." _

Ghost Brittany closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and suddenly was transformed. Her face adopted that endearing Brittany grin that Santana remembered fondly, and she giggled and tucked a loose strand of her flowing blonde locks behind her ear in true Brittany fashion. She then looked up, her eyes meeting Santana's intrigued gaze, the Latina then breaking out into a grin as she saw her Brittany, the Brittany that she remembered and loved, looking back at her.

"_Hey San."_

"H-hey Britt."

"_So, I'm a ghost now, and I'm your own personal angel. Pretty cool, huh? This is even better than that time I got lost in the sewers over summer vacation and I made friends with that rat and he took me back to his home and introduced me to his rat wife and all his little rat babies."_

Santana giggled, delighted to have her Brittany back with her, even though a small nagging voice in the back of her mind was telling her that this wasn't going to last forever, and that she would eventually have to say goodbye to Brittany once again. But not yet. For now, she was going to enjoy the limited time she had with her formerly lost love, even if she was a metaphysical representation of Brittany from the intelligible realm.

"Britt?"

"_Yeah Sanny?"_

"I… I miss you. I miss you so much, it hurts."

Tears began to form in Santana's eyes as she gazed at the blonde, her heart aching with the thought of never being able to grow old with Brittany and be with her forver like she'd always wanted to.

"_I know San, and that's why I'm here."_

The Latina frowned in confusion, regarding Brittany with a quizzical expression.

"_I'm here to help you let go. To move on, and be happy. I know that seems impossible, and I know you miss me; believe me, I miss you too. Every day, I look down on you from my place up above – which is a pink cloud decorated with pictures of you, Lord Tubbington, and unicorns, by the way – and I just wish there was a way I could hold you again, to feel your hand in mine. And when I have to watch you break down day after day, powerless to stop it… if I wasn't dead already, I just know that seeing that would kill me. But you have to know, I'll always be with you. Even if you can't see me, or hear me, I'm always there beside you, holding your hand, even if you can't feel it."_

The tears were now flowing freely down Santana's face, the brunette making no attempt to stop them as she felt herself becoming overwhelmed with emotion.

"But, what if… what if I can't let go? What if it's too hard? I just… it's so difficult not having you here Britt. I still love you with all my heart. I always have, and I don't think I'll ever stop. And that's what makes it impossible for me to forget you."

Santana then began to sob, a strangled cry clawing its way up her throat and escaping like a feral animal that had finally been released from its cage. Brittany watched her one true love crumble in front of her, the pain slicing through her heart like a searing flame.

But, just then, an idea struck her.

It was crazy, and she had never done anything like it in her three years of being a guardian angel… but with enough willpower, it might just work.

Ghost Brittany summoned all of her powers, and focused her energy on one specific thought. She felt the energy rising, passing through her body, and knew her plan had worked when she glanced down and saw her left hand encircled by a warm, fuzzy glow, which then travelled up her arm and surrounded her entire body, until she was a golden, radiant mass.

Santana was oblivious to what was going on, as she was attempting to get her distressed breathing under control. Henceforth, she was more than a little surprised when Brittany reached out and wiped away one of her tears, with her hand that was very solid and not at all ghost-like.

Santana raised her head slowly, her mouth frozen into an 'O', staring at Brittany in shock.

Brittany then took Santana's hand in her own, and the Latina gasped loudly; Brittany's ghostly hands were as cold as ice, and the sudden temperature change was disconcerting to say the least.

"How are you doing that? Touching me? You… you're a ghost!"

Brittany laughed at this, a hearty, full laugh, and beamed at Santana, pleased with her success.

"_Being a guardian angel does have its perks. One of those perks being that we each have special powers. Mine, as it happens, is being able to materialise in certain situations and make myself into a solid form. I can only do it very rarely, if I feel enough passion and fire for the person I am materialising for. I've never tried it before, so I was a bit nervous, but as it turns out, I'm pretty darn good at it."_

Both girls exchanged a loving smile, Santana's hand wrapped firmly around Brittany's.

"_Now San, I came here to tell you something. What I came to tell you is… you have to start moving on. Now, you don't have to do anything drastic, like get a new girlfriend," _Santana giggled as Brittany narrowed her eyes in a mock-menacing way, _"But I just want you to be happy. Start going out with Quinn and Rachel, make new friends, see your family more. All the things you would want me to do if the situation was reversed. Do you think you can do that?"_

Santana chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully, deliberating her answer, but suddenly knew what her answer would be when she glanced up and gazed into Brittany's trusting blue orbs.

"For you, Britt? I'd do anything. So yes, I can try. For you."

Brittany smiled and clapped delightedly, withdrawing her hand from Santana's grip to throw her arms around the astounded brunette. Santana then embraced Brittany firmly, gripping her tighter than she ever had before. She breathed in deeply, revelling in the smell of Brittany, never wanting to forget this magical and breath-taking moment. Brittany then pulled back reluctantly, eyebrows pulled together unhappily.

"_I'm afraid it's now time for me to go San."_

"No!" Santana gasped, eyes wide with panic as she clawed desperately at Brittany's top, trying to pull the blonde closer to her. "No, you can't leave! Please, just stay here, stay with me! PLEASE BRITTANY, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!"

Santana was on the verge of screaming hysterically, shocked at having to say goodbye to the woman she loved so soon, so Brittany quickly wrapped her arms around the shaking girl, rocking her gently. She then turned so they were facing each other and leaned down, pressing her lips to Santana's gently. The brunette inhaled sharply, the shock of feeling Brittany's lips on hers after all this time almost causing her to pass out. But she held it together, kissing Brittany back passionately, before the blonde broke the kiss to lean her forehead against Santana's.

"_I love you San. Never forget that. And every time you're sad, or angry, or anything, just remember, I'm always there. In the wind whistling past your ears, in the aroma of food drifting up from the kitchen, in the sound of baby laughing as it finds its favourite toy; I'm always there. I love you Sanny, and I know that although you'll never stop loving me, you'll find the strength to move on and be happy, because you deserve it."_

And with that, Brittany began to fade away, her eyes never leaving Santana's. She then disappeared in a wisp of smoke, and as a hush of silence filled the room, Santana was sure she heard the faintest of whispers, the words _"I'm always there" _resonating around the room before they too faded away.

To her surprise, Santana didn't feel as upset as she thought she would now that Brittany had left. In fact, she felt an overwhelming sense of calm settle over her, enveloping her like a thick blanket on a cold winter's night. She found herself smiling, revelling in the memory of seeing Brittany again, of feeling her skin, her lips, of seeing that dazzling, perfect smile once more.

She then heard a clumping sound ascending the stairs and froze for a second.

"San?"

She breathed out a sigh of relief, recognising Quinn's soothing voice. Her door then creaked open slowly, and a mass of blonde emerged through it, followed by Quinn's hazel eyes peering into the room. Her eyes widened with disbelief as she saw Santana sitting up in bed, with a genuinely happy smile on her face; something Quinn had not seen for a very long time.

"Hey San. Is everything okay?"

Santana glanced around the room, her eyes settling on the photo of her and Brittany from when they were Cheerio's. She stared at the photo for a few seconds when, to her utter delight, the Brittany in the photo winked at her and flashed her a beaming smile.

Santana then heard the faintest whisper in her ear, and the words that were spoken sent a jolt of happiness though her.

"_Remember San. I'm always here. And I love you. For forever and eternity."_

Santana then turned to Quinn, her face lit up with an expression of euphoric elation, and replied with a smile, which Quinn happily returned.

"You know what Q? I think, for the first time in a while, everything is going to be just fine."

* * *

**So, what did you guys think of this last chapter? I know it's a pretty unusual idea, but that's what interested me and made me want to write a story involving supernatural entities, because I noticed that they were quite rare on here and I find them quite fascinating.**

**Anyway, leave me a review telling me what you thought, I'd love to hear your opinions on whether you thought this was a good way to end it or not. I didn't want to end it on a sad note, because the first two chapters were so damn angsty, so I thought I had to make this chapter nice and happy :D But yeah, let me know if you guys enjoyed it, and hopefully once my exams are finished I'll have time to start a new fic! **


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